Does this happen to you guys???? I’ve found that a lot of times when I’m talking to people they will cut me off while I’m talking but not to share anything related to what I’m talking about. They’ll just interrupt me and start a whole new conversation! I’m not trying to say that what I have to say is more important than what anyone else has to say. I’m not trying to compete or be the center of attention, I only want to contribute to the conversation; to engage with the people I’m with. This has happened so often that I try to keep myself from talking around certain people to prevent this from happening. So it’s really even more hurtful when this happens and I’ve hardly talked much at all.
Example. I’m talking to the hubby about freezer meals (I know, super interesting!). I was saying that freezer meals can be a challenge for me because the recipes makes a lot of food and you’re not sure if it will taste great after it’s been frozen and reheated. But before I finished the sentence the hubby blurts out something like, “Do you know where my charger is?”.
Another example. We went out to lunch with family and one of my family members complimented my hair. I started to talk about how I let my hubby relax and cut it once and another family member asked if they had a salon on base for me to go to. I was proceeding to tell them that they do have one but I stopped going because my hair used to be straight and I didn’t need it but once I went natural I went in for some product advice. I didn’t get through that sentence before the family member cut me off and asked, “When are you moving to Alaska?”.
When I’m with some of the hubby’s friends and someone brings up a topic and I can relate to, which is not often, I’ll start to say something like, “When we were in Germany there was an amazing döner shop right down the street but we were so lazy we still had the food delivered” or “The hubby skinned himself at work trying to shave his hand with his new axe to test the sharpness”. But most of the time I get cut off. If by a miracle I don’t get cut off, the atmosphere in the room clearly dies off and picks back up again with someone else’s comment.
These examples seem really small and insignificant but when it happens on a semi-regular basis it kind of eats at your self-esteem a bit. It makes me feel like how I feel and what I have to say has no value. It makes me feel like the people around me not only don’t care what I have to say but don’t care so much that they can’t even pretend to be interested for a second while I finish my sentence. It’s the complete lack of acknowledgment that bothers me though not the lack of interest. If I said something and all the other person did was say “hmmm” or “oh” or “ok” then thats fine! You aren’t interested and that’s ok. But it amazes me how rude people can be when they blatantly cut you off. This is also why I stop hanging out with certain people, like some of the hubby’s friends. The hubby always invites me to go out with him but I feel so alienated when I’m around his group of friends that it’s not worth the self-esteem drop to go out.
I’m doing a bit of venting here but I just wanted to share this to say that there are people out there that I have been able to talk to and have a lot of fun with. These people don’t always stay in my life because we move around much but I’ll take them as they come. So my point is that I just find that I need to be mindful of the people I choose to be around, not judge myself so harshly and be patient while healthy friendships come back into my life. ❤